Glad that’s over!

What am I referring to, you may be curiously asking yourself? I know. I know. You’re just about on the edge of your seat with anticipation of what’s to come. With every approaching holiday, that is sometimes my concern, as well, “what’s to come”.

I’m one of those people that doesn’t really care for holidays. For me, they often bring up feelings of despair and chaos from times past. These memories can keep me on high alert for the duration of the day. I never seem to really enjoy them. Sometimes, even feelings of loneliness or isolation begin to surface. Inaccurate thoughts are set in motion about how everyone else is enjoying their day, but I’m left with unwelcome recollections floating around in my mind.

My dad brought a message one time regarding “Trauma Triggers”. Satan likes to broadcast our bad memories on a repeat cycle. These trauma triggers take us back to those times and places where we were in great distress. They aren’t happening now; regardless, they are appearing to be real, and often hindering us from enjoying our lives. Our focus is off, which hinders us from seeing how far God has brought us and the miraculous works He has already performed in our lives.

A year ago, yesterday, I was at the beginning of what seemed to be a point of deliverance in my prodigal sons’ life. I spent most of the day looking in on him at a resource meant to provide help, in order to bring him up out of the low place he found himself in. That ended up not being the solution that I had hoped, and I awakened on yesterday feeling a little defeated.

Reflecting back over the year, the complete and total deliverance that I had prayed for still seems to be unanswered. I have been through many ups and downs, heartaches and disappointments during this wilderness experience. I felt like I should have, by now, seen much further progress in various areas; yet, all I can really see are baby steps.

I went to bed and rose just a bit agitated and down in my spirit. He is home and safe, but this past year was, in my mind meant to be a year of giant steps forward.

As the day progressed and he began to move about, a level of fear came over me. Holiday’s in the past meant dealing with so many unknowns. Will he come home? Will he be safe? Will the day’s events cause setback in the healing process? Those feelings became a bit overwhelming.

As time progressed, and the day appeared to be truly uneventful, I realized that I needed to release my fears and anxieties to the Lord, so that I do not remain stuck in this place for years to come.

As I look to God’s Word for a resolution to this recurring issue, I find several passages of Scripture that give me direction for what concerns me.

Psalm 118:6a (NLT) says,
The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.

God has been with me from the beginning of this stage of life up until this present time. When we were at our lowest, and I say we because when your child goes through, you go through it right alongside them, as if it is your personal hurt and your pain and trials, you know what? God met us there. When it appeared to be no way out, God met us there.

So, what am I fearing now? The Lord has been and always will be for me, so I will have no fear.

This has to be a decision that is made based on the promises of God, and sometimes God has to remind us, through His Word, that fear is not an option. We cannot allow the mistakes of the past, be it our own or those of the ones we love, to take our attention off the God who delivers and sets us free, according to His will and plan.

His plan! His timing! His purpose! His timing!

He is dealing with the hearts of man and just like it didn’t take a day for sin to overtake someone’s life, sometimes God uses time to really get into those areas that you, nor I, can see from the outside looking in. What appears to be baby steps in my mind, just because I become impatient, are gigantic steps to God.

God is asking me, “Isn’t he still there?” Yes! “Did you have to wonder if he was safe?” No! “Didn’t I give you some rest from worry, today?” Yes, although I tried to create some of my own based on past experiences, instead of relying on the faithfulness of God and what was actually transpiring in the moment.

In Genesis 15:1, we find God making a covenant promise to Abram. This was a promise made after Abram fought to rescue his nephew, Lot.

Genesis 15:1 (NLT) says,
Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.”

During Abram’s time, a war had broken out in the region. During this time of war, Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed. Besides the victorious invaders plundering Sodom and Gomorrah, heading for home and taking with them all the spoils of war and the food supplies, they also captured Lot—Abram’s nephew who lived in Sodom—and carried off everything he owned. Thankfully, one of Lot’s men escaped and reported everything to Abram.

Genesis 14:14-16 (NLT) tells us,
14 When Abram heard that his nephew Lot had been captured, he mobilized the 318 trained men who had been born into his household. Then he pursued Kedorlaomer’s army until he caught up with them at Dan. 15 There he divided his men and attacked during the night. Kedorlaomer’s army fled, but Abram chased them as far as Hobah, north of Damascus. 16 Abram recovered all the goods that had been taken, and he brought back his nephew Lot with his possessions and all the women and other captives.

As I have been fighting for my son’s life for the past 5 years, doing spiritual warfare against the attacks of the enemy, I, just like Abram, am in the process of recovering all that has been taken. My son is physically back, but God is also going to restore him spiritually and put him back on the path that was determined for him at birth. He is an amazing worship musician, gifted as a child to play by ear. Satan has tried to destroy him and use his gifts and talents for the world.

But God!

1 Corinthians 2:9 (NLT) says,
That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love him.”

God is going to get the glory out of this. He has a calling on his life to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to use his anointing to touch the lives of others. I confess that in Jesus’ name. He has a story to tell and souls to reach because of the valleys God allowed him to endure.

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
Genesis 50:20 (NLT)

When troubling situations come to block our view of God, we must focus on God’s sovereignty and remember the past deliverance’s. We are to find ourselves trusting in the God that we serve. We know what God can do in the future based on His grace and mercy from the past. We have to learn to thank God while we wait.

I no longer have to fear. And when fear attempts to come upon me, I need to fight back with the Word of the Lord.

Psalm 27:1 (NLT) says,
The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?

This is not only true for myself, but for my son, as well. God’s protection has always been present, even during the dark times and the seasons full of unknowns.

No! Things may not be as far along as I had anticipated and desired one year ago, but Praise God, they are not how they used to be. When I take a step back and look at the big picture, God has already done more than enough.

Do Not Be Afraid! God is not finished, YET! All that has been taken will be restored. Total recovery is IN PROCESS.

Related Posts:

Wilderness Experience
Heavenly Benefits Package: You are Set Free
In the Waiting
The Fight is On
God, I Trust You


Thank You For Reading My Blog!

“I will sing of the Lord’s unfailing love forever! Young and old will hear of your faithfulness.”
Psalm 89:1 NLT

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