If I want to remain at the table of God’s blessings that He has prepared for me, then I need to make the necessary adjustments so that I don’t fall back into old emotional patterns.



God has really been doing some amazing things in my life. Many long-term prayers are being answered and for this I am thankful to the only One who could have brought about the change that was necessary to move my life from being stuck, to the possibility of actually moving forward towards better, more; different from how things have existed. The possibilities are amazing!

What once seemed impossible, is made possible with and because of God!

I had to make it to a point where I said Yes to God. “Here I am at the point of change and deliverance, Lord. Will I stay here or will I trust You to move me forward by means of Your desire for me as You part the Red Sea that sets before me? Will I cross over into the abundance of great things You have already prepared for me as long as I follow Your instructions and plan?”

Yes! Yes, I will!

God’s presence, His OVERWHELMING VICTORY in my life has now moved me into a place where I am required to figure out who I am again outside of my trials and tests. Through the process, I have developed into a different version of myself. Through the process, I became a warrior in the fight for my son’s life and therefore, my focus was on surviving each day, each crisis, looking forward to what God would do and how He would bring about the miracles needed to sustain us. I never focused on myself much, at all. But today I am saying, “Okay! Here I am at the point of change. Now, where shall I go from here?”

Jeremiah 29:13-14 (NLT) says,
13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

So, I’m looking for God. “God, what are my next steps?”

It’s a great place to be, but also a somewhat scary place, a place of feeling a bit uneasy, only because I do not want to make the wrong move or have the wrong expectations of what’s to come. So, please do not read into this the wrong way. When God begins to move in our lives as we have prayed, the changes that He makes also requires us to make some personal changes so that we can catch up to where He is. When God moves, He often catapults us from the pit right on top of the hill. He’s amazing like that. That’s what He does and just the God that He is. For me, it’s taking a little adjustment to leave the familiar place of the pit, emotionally, to the reality of where God is taking me. Of course, this shift is fresh and new and I haven’t even had a chance yet to catch my breath and process and actually take in the magnitude of what God has done. No complaints whatsoever! Trust that! But, if I want to remain at the table of God’s blessings that He has prepared for me, then I need to make the necessary adjustments so that I don’t fall back into old emotional patterns.

We can sometimes be delivered, but still walking around with a bound mentality. Have you ever been here before?

In several of my earlier posts, I talked a lot about my prodigal son. The last almost six years of my life has been spent solely focusing on him, making life altering sacrifices to save him from himself and the path that Satan had trapped him on. At his lowest point, my son had no will to live, no care in the world. He saw no way out of the pit that was partially dug by himself, but also dug deeper by others who attempted to destroy who he is destined to become and keep him down, which was Satan’s plan all along. I feel as though I have aged in my spirit more so than in my body. I left all of myself on the table and I’m now trying to determine what’s left of me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, all that God allowed me to give, all of the strength and resources that God poured into my life so that I could be used as an instrument of healing for my son, is something that I would never change. As parents, we give of ourselves so that our children can have the life that we envision for them. We often forget about ourselves and miss out on much so that they can find and make it to their points of greatness. If we do not fight for our children, who will? Their pain becomes our pain. Their hurts and sorrow becomes our very own. Nevertheless, those sacrifices are WORTH IT ALL when we see God enlighten their eyes of understanding.

You see, God has dramatically reversed the course of my son’s life. He has hope and a future, just as God’s Word has promised. His eyes are being opened to see God, again. God is softening his heart and giving him a new perspective. God is healing his wounded heart and bringing about restoration.

God is awesome!

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) says,
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

God has uprooted my son and given him an amazing new path to follow in what seems like only a few days. When God makes a move, we are quickly released from that misery, as if it never existed, and what seemed like forever to get there seems like just moments when God chooses His best time to pull us out of the pit of darkness.

There was a point where I felt like perhaps change really wasn’t coming. Not because I didn’t have faith or believed, but there seemed to be no way forward because my son could not see an out, a different way, a different path. There was only so much that I could do. God needed to take hold of the situation and be God. When I gave up, immediately, God said it’s time for something different.

Do you know that you can have faith with sprinkles of doubt that come to try to influence you and wipe away the mustard seed of faith that you have remaining? What we must do is give up our own will for His and let Him have total control. The rewards on the other side are simply amazing.

As I begin the next chapter of my life, allowing God to show me what’s next and who I am to be on the other side of what came to destroy everything in my life, I must have the faith to believe that God will replenish my strength and zeal for life. I must allow Him to rebuild my confidence and remind me that I am not alone as I venture forward up on the hill. As my vision continues to become clear, I will be able to fully recognize the changes that God made in me through the process; the growth that has occurred. That’s what it was all about. God being God. God showing His glory. God doing what no man could do. God bringing forth a spiritual growth in me where He can use me to be a blessing to others as they go through.

The best version of me, which has never truly seen the light of day, is yet to come. I am looking forward to regaining myself and living the life that God preordained for me to have. I want to encourage you to keep going through the process. Always remember that God has never and will never leave your side. He has things that He wants to show you. Blessings He wants to transfer to you. Lessons He wants you to learn and Victory He wants you to experience.

Let Him finish the process in your life.

Related Posts:

I Give Up

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